I miss her.

Bridesmaid: Emily

Dear Em,

Who knew that we would end up here?!? I'm so thankful for you and your transparency. I appreciate your truth and your genuine love for your friends. I love that we can laugh forever over the same joke.

You act like you know me, and I don't even like you. ;)

Honestly, I can't even begin to tell you how thankful I am for last summer! I loved every minute of it, and I'm so glad to know you so well now.

Love you, Emily. Thank you for who you are!

Bridesmaid: Andrea

Andrea, Eric and I both love you dearly. You are the sweetest and most genuine girl I know, and I'm so glad to call you friend! I can't believe that we met only two years ago; you have quickly become one of my dearest friends, and I look forward to the many memories we have yet to make. :)
I love you, Angela ;)

Bridesmaid: Julie

Two years ago, when we met, I had no idea that you would become such a beautiful part of my life. I cherish our friendship. I wish we could see each other more often, but I know that every time I see you, we'll just pick up right where we left off. And, the thing is, we never "left off" at all...even without physical presence, we still are sharing in life together.

Love you, Jule. So much.

Bridesmaid: Kylie

If there were a way to invent a best friend, I know that I couldn't come up with anything as unlikely and perfect as Kylie.

I couldn't be who I am without her. I truly believe that our friendship is one of the dearest blessings in my life.

I mean, who else would I kill jokes with? :)

Love you, best friend.

Maid of Honor = Beck

My little sister is the cutest. I'm sure of it :)
We've always dreamed up big things for our futures; from traveling through Europe to serving on the Sierra Leone mission field to living in communities with people to adopting children to going to college to...getting married.
I've never laughed as hard with anyone as I have and do with her.
Basically, my sister is cooler than you. And I'm glad to have her :)

Love you, Beck.

I wish I could...

I wish I knew how to overcome the want in me to fix this.
To fix everything.

Is there some switch somewhere that I can just flip and then I won't try to make everything better?

Unforgettable

Yesterday morning, I woke up to a text: Date day today! Dress all cute and stuff. I'll pick you up at 1:00.

We went on an adventure to the Frist, to Centennial Park, to Fido, to Panera, and to GiGi's. Super fun day :) But throughout the day, I thought about it: What if it happens today?

But I kept telling myself to just put it out of my mind instead.

I thought we were on our way home, but Eric said we had one more place to go. We drove out to Percy Priest Lake, to Smith Springs Picnic Area on the far side of the lake. We've been going there since August of 2008, but we hadn't been in at least a year. What if it happens today?

We walked out to the tree we carved our initials into two years ago:



If it is going to happen today, it's going to happen here!

We walked down to the shore instead, and I finally gave up thinking about it happening today.

Eric set up his camera to take a picture of us with the lake in the background, and, once he set the timer, he came and put his arms around me. After the picture flashed, he whispered, "Look down."

And the most beautiful ring was in the palm of his hand.

He asked if I would marry him, and I said YES, OF COURSE!!!



I love that boy with my whole heart, and I always will :)

reunions

After an impromptu girls night, my eyes are swollen and my heart is full.

A year ago, I remember saying to my girls in the middle of a puddle of tears that I just can't take another step. They said to me something that I'll never forget--something that has really shaped my perspective of who we are TOGETHER.

"We know that you can't take another step. We are here to take that next step for you."

Julie, Kylie, Katie, Mary Catherine...and everyone who was missing bodily but always a part of our hearts...I love you so much, and thank you for taking that step for me last year.
And thanks for the knowledge that we're all here to take the step when the other cannot.

I love you!

A Thousand Questions

A Thousand Questions from Nick Jones on Vimeo.

...wow.

Love?

I really struggle with the

God
Bless
America

idea. Like all the time.

I am grateful for the freedom to love God and love other people in this country. But I can't believe that this is "God's country" or that we are in any way an acceptable representation of the Kingdom.

Yeah.

Also, this:

Missing You....and You. and You.

I must admit that I feel a little bit foolish for missing you so much.


Eric left for Florida today, and he and the band will be gone for over a month. Thank God for cell phones and SKYPE!










Cindy passed away a year ago on Tuesday. I miss you more than I ever thought I would. More than I ever imagined. I see you everywhere, and I love that.






Sean called me today :) :) And, while I loved talking to you, I miss the times when
we could sit and talk for a long time about everything possible.





So, I guess today is a little lonely,

...but I am happy. :)

I'm still so thankful to be where I am and who I am :)

"Fight Sexism.Shut up and get back in the kitchen."

Umm, no.



...but I really do love to cook.

And still...

This is my city.

30 people died in the flood, and countless people lost homes, jobs, and hope.

"Break my heart for what breaks yours..." is coming true for me.

And even though we are safe and dry on Trevecca's hill, we students are sharing food and water and clothes and blankets and shoes and toothbrushes and shampoo and life and HOPE with our city. Their undying smiles even when they've lost everything encourage me beyond anything I've ever seen.

Mrs. Ruth and Mrs. Bea, two women who lost their home in the flood and who are living in the Trevecca Towers for the time being, told me yesterday that they have seen the fingerprints of God on this flood.

And I have, too.

Creator, teach us what it means to be your hands and be your feet.




And BE the God of this city.

Welcome, summertime!

I
AM
SO
THANKFUL.

If I haven't said it enough, thank you for you.

Chivalry

I'm pretty sure I am old-fashioned.
I can't even believe how old-fashioned I am.

But I'm pretty sure that I love when you hold my car door open.
I love when you hold the door.
When you take my books on the way to class.
When you brush my hair behind my ear.
I love when you're smiling so big just because I'm yours.



Okay, but seriously....
Guys, be gentlemen. It's sweet.

And I'm pretty sure...we all love it.

Create

Sometimes, I just can't believe what God does for us.
I am completely overwhelmed.
Keep making all things new, Jesus.

I read too much

The Deadly Art of Nonliving

"The trouble with most of us isn't active or deliberate wickedness; it's lethargy, absence of caring, lack of involvement in life. To keep our bodies comfortable and well-fed and entertained seems to be all that matters. But the more successful we are at this, the more entombed the soul becomes in solid, immovable flesh. We no longer hear the distant trumpet and go toward it; we listen to the pipes of Pan and fall asleep. How can [we] rouse people, make them yearn for something more than pleasant, socially acceptable ways of escaping from life? How can [we] make them want to thrust forward into the unknown, into the world of testing and trusting their own spirit? Oh, how I wish I knew!"

A Touch of Wonder, Arthur Gordon

New to this...

I am not a blogger.

Well, I haven't been. I've always been jealous of those people who have journal after journal from when they were kids. I would try to keep a journal...but after two or three days, I would be bored with it. Once, I had a journal for three months, but that's the longest so far.

And, to be honest, I just told Becky that one of the (bigger) reasons I am making this guy is because I found a super great template that I loved :)

On a more serious note, I read something last night that may be rolling around in my mind for a long time:
"Did becoming older bring me closer to Jesus? ...I began to ask myself whether my lack of contemplative prayer, my loneliness, and my constantly changing involvement in what seemed most urgent were signs that the Spirit was gradually being suppressed."
-Henri Nouwen, In the Name of Jesus.

I don't want to lose passions, but I don't want to be fleeting, either.
Still thinking...